The Man Who Knew Everything Once there lived a man who boasted he could know everything and the two brother gods, Remembrance and Forgetfulness, punished him for his pride by taking him down to limbo where nothing ever lives or ever dies and there they expanded his mind almost infinitely, and placed within it everything there is to know The position of every leaf on every tree, when and where that leaf would fall, knowledge of the tree when it was a sapling, a seed, and when it was a campfire, and then as ash, and to soil and back to a seed again What you had for breakfast yesterday, What you thought about the car accident you saw on the way to work and the ladybug stuck on the windshield of that car and what that ladybug had for breakfast yesterday . . . EVERYTHING there is to know right down to the position and velocity of every single particle in the universe throughout the cone of time which you might think is impossible due to Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principle But somehow, he learned it Then they put him in a room with a bed, a table a chair and a locked door, and the two gods said unto him in their unison voice: “NOW YOU WILL LEARN THE BOON AND BANE OF REMEMBRANCE AND FORGETFULNESS! WE HAVE ONE LAST THING TO TEACH YOU THE DOOR IS LOCKED AND WILL ONLY UNLOCK WHEN YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL WE HAVE TAUGHT YOU ONCE IT DOES YOU CAN OPEN IT AND GO ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE AT ANY POINT IN TME.” Then the gods vanished, leaving the man in his room alone and the Man Who Knew Everything spent billions of years in this room, desperately trying to remember to forget But one memory he tried to write with his own blood on the walls a memory he felt terrified to forget He tried to scratch all important words of the gods into his skin but to his dismay he found that blood did not flow in Limbo nor could he leave any mark on anything He tried the door millions of times but still it remained locked and one day, after countless eons, the door finally unlocked Did the man ever escape the room? Was his fate was eternal? After he forgot the last thing that they taught him that the door would only unlock after he forgot the last thing that they taught him, what could cause him to try the door a final time? Only after he forgot all that the gods taught him and then spent further eons forgetting that the door was locked all the times he tried it before When he happened to try the door one time in curiosity and it swung open and he went through by then he had no knowledge of anywhere in the universe but his room and that's exactly where it led and on a guess he decided to go to the room at the point in time when he first entered it billions of years before, though he had no memory of that time There he met the gods just after they decreed their cruel joke to his past self and since the gods did not anticipate this, they became frightened and vulnerable For the first time, the god Forgetfulness knew what it was to remember and the god Remembrance knew what is was to forget The doomed men saw their one chance Working together, the two selves took hold of the gods the past self grappling Remembrance, the the future self grappling Forgetfulness and they threw the gods into each other, winking them out of existence forever freeing the universe from their pernicious games Then the Man Who Knew Everything and the Man Who Forgot Everything Exited the room together, and reintegrated into one and since the condition was now met since now he had forgotten everything, and at the same time knew everything he was free to go anywhere in the universe at any time So he went back to his home and family and computer and finished keying in this story at 10:07 pm, February 21, 2018. And the moral is: If you punish yourself long enough to forget what you've done, then you're doomed to punish yourself forever. Yet if you always remember what you've done, you may likewise never cease to punish yourself. To forgive yourself you must learn to remember and forget simultaneously.